Corvan's Cavern
Rock & Words
"THE SPAGHETTI INCIDENT?" (Guns N' Roses, 1993)
Artist: Guns N’ Roses (D+)
Recording Dates: ‘92’- 93
Release Date: November 23, 1993. USA
Record Label: Geffen
Producer: Mike Clink, Guns N' Roses, Jim Mitchell
Rating: 4
Era: Hard Rock (1968-???)
Subgenre: Hard Rock
Best Song: Ain't It Fun o algo más lejos, Since I Don't Have You
Canciones: 1) Since I Don't Have You; 2) New Rose; 3) Down on the Farm; 4) Human Being; 5) Raw Power; 6) Ain't It Fun; 7) Buick Mackane (Big Dumb Sex); 8) Hair of the Dog; 9) Attitude; 10) Black Leather; 11) You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory; 12) I Don't Care About You; 13) Look at Your Game, Girl.
My theory is that the disgusting mass you see on the cover isn't spaghetti, as everyone suspects, but rather the state of Guns N' Roses' brains after fame, drugs, fights, excess, and the crushing Use Your Soul tour. Illusions, which left them without illusions and without ideas. The title was just a red herring. Only in this way can I explain how a band of Guns N' Roses' caliber could have released such a sonic monstrosity after a couple of simultaneous gems…
Looking back, it wasn't the first time they'd done this. They'd already released the disappointing and sloppy Lies after the smash hit Appetite for Destruction. But hey, even though it was recycled, at least it was listenable and short. Here they went all out with 13 covers that basically said, “We're on top of the world, we're currently the most powerful band on the planet, and we can afford to release whatever crap we want as long as we make money. We've already put in too much effort and we're not going to waste a single drop of sweat (or even write any new material) on this album. If it worked once, it'll work again. Fuck you!”.
So, they went into the studio in late '92. Needless to say, Izzy Stradin was no longer there, having quit the band on November 7, 1991, just a couple of months after the release of UYI, after getting off drugs, which presumably restored his common sense. He decided he was fed up with putting up with Axl's tantrums, by then an insufferable diva. Gilby Clarke would take his place as rhythm guitarist on the tour and when they entered the studio for this album, but the truth is that a good part of Guns N' Roses' magic left with Stradin. His departure would essentially be the beginning of the end.
This was supposed to be an EP of UYI outtakes, but at some point someone had the brilliant idea that they had enough leftovers for a whole album, or that they could record the rest quickly. Remember that UYI was originally envisioned as a 3 or even 4-album project, so they had plenty of material. That's the problem: this sounds like leftovers, and old ones at that. That Spaghetti EP already stank.
The result is an intolerable 46 minutes of a great rock band performing covers barely worthy of an amateur group, with a terrible selection of songs, mostly punk, that nobody knew and that couldn't be compared to anything else. In Izzy's absence, who had a good voice, Duff McKagan sings on four tracks, but apparently something happened to him between "So Fine" and this point, tonsillitis, perhaps. And Michael Monroe appears as a guest vocalist on "Ain’t It Fun", ironically, the most decent track on the album.
The rest is, well… a lot of nonsensical noise. I understand they like punk, and that some of their roots come from there, but… do they understand that the simplicity of punk, the virtuosity of a guitarist like Slash, and Axl's glam attitude are polar opposites? The solos end up sounding forced and far removed from the melody, the soul, and the virtuosity that characterized it. I suppose we can't blame him; the result would have been more or less the same if we'd had Gilmour play songs by The Sex Pistols.
Guns N' Roses had already shown themselves to be a band capable of doing great covers: “Nice Boys”, “Mama Kin”, “Live and Let Die”, “Knockin' On Heaven's Door”… they'd still include a decent version of “Sympathy for the Devil” on the Interview with the Vampire soundtrack. The thing is, the track selection was terrible, because since they were mostly iconic underground songs, they were still unknown to most people, making it difficult to compare them and, therefore, to have any interest in them as reinterpretations. The worst part is that you don't even feel like listening to the originals; you just assume they must be sonic garbage too. Guns N' Roses isn't a punk band, and in trying to create a simple sound, Slash's virtuosity is wasted, or flattened and completely out of place. Everyone feels uncomfortable and forced.
The worst part is that the sound that made Guns N' Roses great is completely absent. These 13 tracks are unworthy of a top-tier band that rescued rock from the filthy pit it was in during the '80s and was at its peak in 1993. You can't hear that tight, cohesive machine that seemed to read each other's minds and maintain perfect balance. This is basically a soulless, spiritless album, with a defiant attitude faker than a Coldplay Grammy… basically, it's what you'd expect from one of those glam bands that got their asses kicked in 1987: a desire to mess around and cash in on their image.
The title is a bad inside joke, like the rest of the album, in quotation marks and with a question mark. It supposedly comes from 1991, when Steven Adler sued the band for lost earnings. In court, he alleged that the rest of the group always took advantage of him, and when asked to elaborate, all he could manage to say was “The spaghetti incident?” This referred to an occasion when he left his spaghetti in the refrigerator and Slash ate it. This supposedly caused general laughter in the courtroom, and the title was a kind of revenge/joke by the band for this blunder.
The album is, therefore, pejorative, disgustingly forgettable. Thirteen tracks, of which two are even remotely listenable, and only one made it onto the radio. Guns N' Roses was in a privileged position at that time, where they could have done almost anything and come out unscathed. This album is so bad, in fact, that it would be the beginning of the end, causing the arguments between Axl and everyone else that would ultimately lead to the band's demise in 1996.
The album opens with "Since I Don't Have You", a ballad that would be the only one played on the radio. It's originally by the Skyliners, from 1958. It's one of the few tracks where the band sounds somewhat sharp and balanced, with Slash delivering a great opening riff, licks, and… well, not a solo because it's basically the intro repeated. But it sounds good, maintaining a retro feel thanks to the piano in the background, but with Guns N' Roses' signature sound. Axl starts singing in a pleasant half-step and at some point goes up an octave, showing good vocal range without sounding excessive. For the coda, they add more distortion, Slash adds a great swing with his guitar, while Rose repeats "you's" until the very end, which he extends for quite a while and finishes with a drawn-out "yeah". It's not Guns N' Roses ' best cover, but it's one of the two best on this album. As a special mention, I must say that my wife cannot tolerate anything by Guns N' Roses, except this one, which is the only one she likes.
“New Rose” is the first of the four songs sung by Duff, but they fail to emulate the ferocity and danger that The Damned brought to this track in 1977. At least the British band sounds genuinely furious, with a completely unrestrained drumbeat, and the sound is dirtier… and more honest. Here, it sounds like Nirvana tried their hand at it on Bleach. And that's not exactly a compliment. Slash tries hard to shine on guitar, but I insist, he sounds completely awkward and out of place.
“Down on the Farm” is a song practically spoken by Axl, in which the main riff, consisting of a five-tone ascending chord, is repeated ad nauseam. It sounds cool at first, with Duff's deep bass line, Slash trying to make his guitar sound as badass as possible, and then that riff kicks in. Yes, the first 200 or 300 repetitions sound good, but then it gets tiresome… Again, they fall far short of the raw energy and drive that the UK Subs bring to the original, which isn't exactly a masterpiece either.
You'd think they couldn't possibly ruin the New York Dolls' "Human Being", but they manage it nonetheless. Not even the fact that the New Yorkers were more glam than punk helped. Guns N' Roses scream the lyrics in an unbearable high note and completely ruins David Johansen's attitude. If the original was already a bit long, Guns N' Roses stretches it out another minute. But they don't sound like they're having any fun. The little piano boogie in the background gives it a dive bar vibe that doesn't suit it. And Slash trying to sound like Johnny Thunders is just... ridiculous. By the end, Rose screams so much he becomes an unbearable drill, the guitars get muddy, and it seems like everyone is trying to make as much noise as possible with their instrument.
“Raw Power”, released by the Stooges in 1973, also gets butchered. This time, they don't make as many changes. The problem is the attitude. Duff hardly has the charisma and attitude of Iggy Pop, who could sound good reciting the Lord's Prayer. Guns N' Roses tries to refine it a bit, making it faster and trying to make it sound better. The Stooges' rusty guitars, and even the almost cacophonous piano of the original, are refined and given a more hard rock treatment. While you buy the Stooges' version, you don't buy Gn'R's. The cover sounds like garbage in a pretty, perfumed package. It even seems longer, although due to the excessive speed, it's almost a minute shorter.
The only track on this album that I could consider superior to the original is “Ain't It Fun", and that's perhaps because the vocalist is Michael Monroe. The former Hanoi Rocks vocalist was an old friend of Axl's, and had already contributed by playing sax and harmonica on "Bad Obsession". A couple of things need to be emphasized here. The original song is very simple, but with a great arpeggio that transcends the simplicity with which the Dead Boys perform it. The song seemed to cry out for a master guitarist who could unleash its full potential, and Slash doesn't miss the opportunity, creating searing riffs amidst Gilby's dark arpeggios, and not holding back on the powerful explosions of the choruses. The band instrumentally recovers the level and cohesion of the UYI, and this is because the song is very well chosen; it's not that simple thing of three repetitive chords. THIS is the territory in which they feel comfortable, which allows them to use their full potential, to play with the tension. to insert soulful guitar solos. And second, Monroe sings with an attitude that Axl and Duff fail to achieve on the rest of the album. For the first time, we have a solid, sincere performance, one where he seems on the verge of breaking down, only to erupt into the roar of the choruses in an instant. The more than five minutes fly by. The track, then, works perfectly, and in my opinion, it's the best on the album, even though it went almost unnoticed.
With “Buick Mackane (Big Dumb Sex)”, they essentially combine the powerful riff from T. Rex ’s 1973 song “Buick McKane” with Soundgarden ’s 1989 hit “Big Dumb Sex”. The idea itself isn’t bad, as T. Rex ’s wonderful riff complements the Soundgarden track. The problem lies in the execution, as Axl can’t seem to decide whether to sing like Marc Bolan, Chris Cornell, or Axl Rose, and he completely loses his way. This is especially true when they switch to that iconic “Big Dumb Sex” section where Cornell sings “Hey I know what to do, I'm gonna fuck fuck fuck fuck you, FUCK YOU!" With an attitude that knocks you off your chair, Axl seems to be reading the weather forecast. Meanwhile, Slash also meanders between Bolan's and Thayil's guitars, with tons of wah and sustained notes. An idea that had more potential, but it's not as bad as the album's average.
“Hair of the Dog”, originally by Nazareth, also falls short. Of all the good songs the Scots have, they had to choose the one that was least suitable, but I suppose Axl couldn't resist shouting that “Now you're Messin' with a son of a bitch". While the original has a great groove that makes the riff work despite the repetitions, Guns N' Roses manages to make it sound overly heavy-handed, and it does become tiresome after a while. Slash tries to replicate Dan McAferty's strange talk- voice solo, and I think that's the only merit of the version, not ruining that great moment, although Axl later does so by unnecessarily speeding up the song for a chaotic ending.
Then we have "Attitude" by the Misfits, which is precisely what's missing. It's not like Guns N' Roses were the greatest paragons of virtuosity in history, but to waste their talent on a song with only two notes? The vocals don't suit Duff (although I suspect it would have been worse with Axl), and the only good thing I can say is that it's only 1:27 long, just like the original.
Next up is "Black Leather" by The Professionals, who are basically the Sex Pistols without Johnny Rotten, and obviously, Syd Vicious. Guns N' Roses delivers a more hard rock version, using that great riff and with Slash juggling some seriously forced licks. It doesn't sound too bad, but compared to the Runaways ' great version, Guns N' Roses is completely overshadowed, and in particular, Lita Ford's arrangements sound much more natural than Slash's.
“You Can’t Put Your Arms Around a Memory”, from 1978, is the last song Duff sings, as a tribute to Johnny Thunders, guitarist of the New York Dolls. I think it’s the best of the songs McKagan sings on this album, approaching the emotional level of “So Fine”, and being an acoustic track, it shares certain similarities, although the spoken coda at the end somewhat ruins the mood.
“I Don’t Care About You” seems to be the album’s mission statement. Axl vomits out the lyrics, the guitars are a shapeless mess, the melody is practically nonexistent, and it’s pretty clear they chose it just to yell “Fuck You!” They didn’t really have much to do with the original. The problem was choosing it in the first place.
The album closes with “Look At Your Game, Girl", which is more of a hidden track that starts at 2:30 of "Fuck You ("I Don't Care About You"). And well, if they wanted to make a radical change, they take a turn from a horrible song to an acoustic one, very serene and beautiful. What was Charles Manson thinking when he wrote it in 1967? It's a somewhat unsettling ending, if you look closely. The song is nice, but far from Guns N' Roses' great ballads and covers.
And that's it. All bands start by doing covers. That's where they get their influences to achieve their own sound and create their own material. Especially with established bands, as is the case here, a cover should offer something new, respect the essence of the original, but at the same time showcase the character of the band doing the cover. Try to do it better with your own style, come on! There's no point in doing a cover if you're going to do it exactly like the original… I suppose Guns N' Roses were sure they were doing the 13 songs a favor, but the truth is they only manage to improve on one original, they have 4 or 5 that are completely forgettable, and the rest they butcher. An Allmusic critic couldn't have said it better: “It lacks courage and power”. The album started selling well due to the expectations of the UYI fans, but as soon as people realized what garbage it was, sales plummeted. Within the band, they began to blame each other for the failure, while passing the torch to Nirvana and Pearl Jam as the new world monarchs.
What happened next is anyone's guess except them. A couple of years passed with rumors of a new album. Then they denied it. Slash would say Axl wanted bombastic ballads like "November Rain", Rose would say Slash wanted to return to the hard rock of Appetite for Destruction. Gilby Clarke would be the first to leave. Slash made his departure public at the end of 1996, turning Guns N' Roses into a myth. Then Matt Sorum was fired by Axl in 1997. Duff quit shortly after becoming a father and realizing it wasn't worth continuing the charade. There was never a real breakup date, but somehow we knew Gn'R was over. Axl would spend years gaining weight and clinging to the band's name, even though it was really his solo career with a very loud backing band. Years also spent clinging to the next album under the Guns N' Roses name, Chinese Democracy. That's the most disheartening thing about "The Spaghetti Incident?": we thought it couldn't get any worse...
By Corvan
May/6/2016
